<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>"the worst part of falling in love" by seunqmins</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28284264">"the worst part of falling in love"</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/seunqmins/pseuds/seunqmins'>seunqmins</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>our gazes meet and I see you in vignette [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous/Open Ending, Just TINY BIT of angst, M/M, Not really angst I promise, idk how to tAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG, major character death because minho is a ghost so he is dead yes good, mentioned of ghost (because it's a ghost AU), minho is a ghost FYI, one-sided! Hwang Hyunjin &amp; Kim Seungmin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:13:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,934</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28284264</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/seunqmins/pseuds/seunqmins</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The worst part about falling in love with a ghost is that there are no traces left. No traces left whether Minho is real and true. There are no traces whether to confirm if Seungmin is only hallucinating or not.<br/> </p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Seungmin &amp; Lee Minho | Lee Know, Kim Seungmin/Lee Minho | Lee Know</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>our gazes meet and I see you in vignette [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2029132</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>"the worst part of falling in love"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>HAPPY HOLIDAYS, STAYs and 2minists!<br/>Here's just a not-so-short and not-so-angsty fic for our Minho and Seungmin!<br/>Kudos and comments are really appreciated!!<br/>DO NOT BE FOOLED BY THE TITLE,, I JUST CANNOT THINK OF THE PERFECT TITLE ASHASAHSASDD</p><p>Anyway, thank you!!^^</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Seungmin should have known much better. There’s just something odd and suspicious when the landlady suddenly said “hallelujah” and almost kissed him on his cheeks had he not stepped to his right. The rent for this particular apartment with a bedroom, a spacious living room, and a nice kitchen is really generous.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And as a broke ass man, he rejoiced thinking that he made the decision well.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><a id="page2" name="page2"></a><em>But fuck it,</em> Seungmin mouths as he tries not to look at his way. He wonders if he needs to slam his luggage towards him or if he needs to take back his rent.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>But fuck, Seungmin, you need this.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>But goddamnit</em>, this white apparition won’t just go away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, do I look that scary that you need to shake your whole body like that?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Uhh---” he says unintelligibly, trying to cover himself with an egg pillow courtesy of his best buddy Felix (and he does not really know how he got it, really, and as if that could protect him from a certain ghost). “How about you just go away?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The apparition pouts. He fucking pouts. He’d think it’s cute but never mind because he is an apparition standing not far away from Seungmin. “I’d want to, you know, if I had a choice.” He then sits all too comfortably on his couch.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yes, people, his own couch.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“This apartment gets too boring. Had I given a chance I would have you know like go?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He squints at the ghost. “It’s not empty cause I’m here.” He points out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He wishes that the ghost would take a hint. That finally, he would leave. But that does not happen since the ghost’s face actually lights up more that Seungmin has to look away from the brightness or he'll lose his eyesight. “Good! I guess I can talk to someone now!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ah, I don’t want to talk to a ghost.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well, welcome to my house, I guess?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>His house? Seungmin scoffs and drowns in his own misery.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The ghost’s name, apparently, is Lee Minho. He’s died when he was twenty two years ago. For some reason Seungmin has not yet unfolded. And yes, Lee Minho, to Seungmin’s surprise, is actually <em>ethereally</em> pretty, but his personality says the otherwise.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It really hasn’t been a week since he’s stayed but he fully understands why the landlady was so eager for someone to rent this apartment. Along with this comes a very annoying ghost. He does so many annoying things --- like actually scaring the fuck out of Seungmin one time when he’s holding his cup ramen. Later on, he screams (but Seungmin would deny this) and pours his hot ramen on the floor. Or sometimes, he would open his TV in the middle of the night and blast it to the highest level which would then make the neighbors irritated and knock on his door at god forsaken hour.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Do you really have to do this?” He asks with tuna kimbap in between his mouth as he sits on the floor of the living room. “Like have you done this before with the other tenants here?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minho slides next to him with a mischievous smile. “I've done much worse, you know.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Like?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The ghost puts his pointing finger on his temple, as if he’s thinking hard. “Well, I’m a ghost.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Duh.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Shut it. So like I’m a ghost and I made sure to make the most of out it. You’re lucky I didn’t do those things to you, though.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin stops chewing and looks at Minho, suddenly clutching on his heart. “I’m so honored, your Majesty.” Which earns him a punch which obviously just goes through him. Ghost apparently cannot touch him or do any harm to him. <em>Thankfully</em>. Because they're not sure whether what is about to happen to them if they could physically feel each other. “But why not?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>So Minho sticks his tongue out, instead. “I’m bored and I want to talk to someone.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Why me</em>, is a question that hangs at the far corner of his tongue.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><a id="page4" name="page4"></a>“You could have done that with the previous owners.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minho shrugs and gently mumbles. “They speak English.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin eyes him disbelievingly, questioning as to why it should matter.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I can’t English very well!” Minho says in his broken English.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin’s laughter bubbles around the apartment which earns more more pouts and Seungmin tries to laugh it off but Minho is so fucking cute I could die. Felix would have a big entertainment if he meets Minho.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>His vacation leave from the café that Chan hyung owns ends today. And Seungmin has to go back to work. When he goes out of his room, Minho is lying down on the floor, arms and legs wide open.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Move.” He tells him and kicks him. He knows that his kick would just go through the thin air (like it’s used to), but it does not. Instead, he kicks Minho’s real leg.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ouch.” Minho says. It takes him a minute before he comprehends that Seungmin can touch him and after he does, he excitedly stands up and punches Seungmin on his shoulder. “Oh god, I can touch! I can touch you.” He runs around the house, knocking a book, and few things here and there.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin thinks he’s going to have a heart attack someday.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Stop ruining my apartment.” He yells.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Minho appears in front of him suddenly and Seungmin lets out a manly scream. “Where is Mr. Nagger Naggy going to?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There’s something about the closeness between their bodies which makes Seungmin heat up for some reason he does not want to dwell on too much. “I have to go back to work.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You work????”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin shakes his head and pushes Minho away from him, walking to his couch to get his bag. “I’m not jobless, you stupid idiot.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What do you do?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin opens his door and turns back to Minho for the last with a smug smile. “You’re not my husband so I don’t have to tell you every single detail of my life. Now, bye and have a very awful day, ghost!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Spend your worst day ever!” Minho exclaims.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure nothing is worst than spending a day with an asshole.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He waves a hand before he exits his apartment but Minho’s answer does not go unheard. “Fuck, why would I want to be your husband?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin laughs at the thought of Minho in a wedding dress.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>This particular image of Minho in a wedding dress entertains him throughout the shift that has him cackling while serving the coffee to a customer and scared the shit out of even Chan the whole day.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><a id="page6" name="page6"></a>Also, Minho in his apartment maybe wrecking it also gives him a sudden headache. That’s a Minho thing to do --- to mess up because he’s that annoying prick asshole.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Dude,” Changbin hyung calls him as he mops onto the floor. “You doing good?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin stops on his tracks and fakes a smile to his hyung. “Just--- having a post vacation afterthoughts.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Shit, I’m sure Minho is wrecking my apartment now.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Make sure to take your medicine.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hyung, can you heal a post vacation afterthought?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Fuck you, Seungmin.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But when he gets back to his apartment on that day, everything is perfectly cleaned and organized.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He sees Minho snoozing on the couch. Seungmin lets out a tiny smile. Maybe, Minho isn’t that bad after all.</p><p><a id="page7" name="page7"></a>  </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin arrives three weeks after he’s settled in the apartment. Three weeks that’s nothing but Lee Minho and his annoying self.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As soon as he hears the doorbell, Seungmin rushes and blocks the door with his hands. “You’re here, Jin.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>His best friend rolls his eyes and tries to push him. To no avail. “Move away, Seungminnie.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He only smiles and shakes his head. “Why are you here?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Cause I wanted to see your apartment, what else? You told me before you moved in to visit you.” He reminds him, irritation masking his face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That’s before Minho gets in the picture.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Uh---” He sneakily glances inside his apartment. Where the fuck is Lee Minho? “It’s really messy here so yeah---”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’ve dealt with your messy ass for two years.” The elder reiterates. “Now, I want you to remove yourself before I move you myself.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“As if you can do it.” There goes Minho floating at Hyunjin's back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What the hell?” Hyunjin dramatically asks-yells. He tries to go behind Seungmin like as if the ghost would disappear. Hyunjin has the biggest flair of dramatics ever.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I honestly think you can’t move Seungmin by yourself.” Minho says, his hair falling on his head. Seungmin chokes and thinks <em>fuck you Minho</em>. Because he’s being adorable like this.</p><p><a id="page8" name="page8"></a> “I--- you’re a ghost!” Hyunjin mutters accusingly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The ghost laughs in newly found enjoyment. “Are you infected with Seungmin’s stupidity or are most of his friends just plain dumb?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yah!” Two offended voices chastise him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minho only shrugs and Seungmin turns to look at Hyunjin. “So what brings you here again?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin eyes the apartment. “Just --- things.” He then turns to Minho. “What’s your name?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Minho.” He proudly says. “Lee Minho.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin's eyes get bigger. “What the fuck? You’re The Famous Lee Minho?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean?” Seungmin asks confusedly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin slaps his shoulder in return. “The famous dancer! You know, the one that you hated the most in University because he tripped you once going to your Physics class and did not help you?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You hated me?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin scratches his neck and tries to think deeply. And then he remembers two years ago, in their university, there’s been a famous guy who's good at everything. Good at dancing with the best witty comeback. He'd become so famous in their University that he's all he heard about.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And he’s a good actor, too!” Hyunjin supplies more information.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“How do you know all of these is beyond me.” He faces Minho this time who seems lost. “You can act?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Seungmin feels like Minho has shrunk. “Could.” He answers with a bitter smile.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Seungminnie, come on! You owe me a milkshake.” Hyunjin suddenly says and waltz out of the apartment.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He sees Minho quietly sits on the couch. His eyes are unfocused and shaking. His mind is screaming different thoughts, Seungmin can tell.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You okay?” He questions, crouching down to see Minho.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Are you really worried about me?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin sees the glint (thankfully) in the other’s eyes and shakes his head. “Now you’re going to take advantage of my kindness and walk down my parade. I should have never asked anyway.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This time, Minho smiles. “Just go!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Seungminnie!” He hears Hyunjin whine.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“But like --- you wanna go with us?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The shock and confusion are obvious in Minho’s face as he looks up to him. Seungmin offers his hand but Minho just blatantly stares at it. “Hyunjin--”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“--- wouldn’t mind.” He says. “Have you ever tried leaving this place?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minho tentatively shakes his head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Now’s a chance. This offer does not last so might as well grab it.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And Minho does.</p><p><a id="page10" name="page10"></a> Once they are out of apartment, he circles his hand around Minho’s wrist but he remembers that there’s nothing to it but plain air.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Minho?” He calls out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’m here.” Minho answers somewhere that Seungmin knows he’s close. He’s relieved to know as they all walk out of the apartment.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Crazy.” Hyunjin comments. “You’re crazy.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin agrees right away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>“Have you ever gives a thought of falling in love with your best friend?” Minho suddenly asks during Seungmin’s rest day and they are playing a video game that Seungmin pauses after hearing the question.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The human turns to the ghost with a scandalous face. “Don’t tell me you’re falling in love with me.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minho gladly launches a pillow on Seungmin’s face. “You can only wish, asshole. But like --- I mean – Hyunjin, dimwit.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What about him?”</p><p><a id="page11" name="page11"></a> “He likes you.” He casually answers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin chokes out loud. “I don’t know what you mean and shut up so we can play this game. I’m going to own your ass.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Keep lying to yourself then.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There’s something beautiful about Minho and Seungmin cannot point out what it is. Maybe because his eyes are always lively and looks alive most of the time. Or perhaps, it’s the company that Seungmin enjoys.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But Minho becomes an integral part of his life, easing his way easily in his life like it's so natural and like Minho is meant to be in Seungmin's life without a question.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’re never leaving this apartment ever again.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I can leave whenever I want to!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Then leave and never come back.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Do you mean that?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin pauses.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“See. I know you’re going to miss me, Seungminnie.”</p><p><em>Seungminnie</em>. There’s something wonderful whenever it’s Minho who calls him that nickname. It immediately makes him smile like an autopilot. It makes his heart tug for a reason, too.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And I’m going to miss you so bad, Seungminnie because I like you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What did I deserve to have an annoying housemate like you?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Pure karma, I guess? Besides, I know you like me too!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minho rolls his eyes at him. Like a habit that he’s been giving Seungmin a lot. “Shut up. It was a joke. Take a chill pill, ass.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This time, Seungmin closes the gap between. “Maybe it’s not a joke, maybe you really like me. Can’t blame you --- handsome, cool, and nice. I’m that man.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Just add shameless, will you?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s becoming their habit.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minho coming down with Seungmin to the café. At times, he’d see Minho in a far corner observing people. At times, he’s in the counter sitting as Seungmin takes the order which distracts the younger a lot.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But tonight, it’s been a slow night at the café and Minho makes sure that it’s not a slow night for Seungmin as he grabs a paper cup and throws it right on his face.</p><p><a id="page13" name="page13"></a> “Stop.” Seungmin hisses under his breath.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But Minho only snickers and smacks Seungmin with another paper cup.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Later that night when Changbin comes to mop the floor, there are literally paper cups all over the floor.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Llama:</p><p> </p><p>Yo Seungminnie!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pup:</p><p> </p><p>Yes?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Llama:</p><p> </p><p>What’s your plan with the ghost?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pup:</p><p> </p><p>Oh, Minho? He’s going to go away one of these days.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Llama:</p><p> </p><p>But he’s been here for two years and he hasn’t gone away.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Pup:</p><p> </p><p>It’s not like I can do anything about it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Llama:</p><p> </p><p>Ask him to leave.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pup:</p><p> </p><p>LOL as if I have never asked him too. Every day.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Llama:</p><p> </p><p>Whatever. Fine.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pup:</p><p> </p><p>K.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Llama:</p><p> </p><p>K.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Llama:</p><p> </p><p>K.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Llama:</p><p> </p><p>Are you ignoring me?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pup:</p><p> </p><p>¯\(°_o)/¯</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Llama:</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><a id="page15" name="page15"></a>I hate you.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Llama:</p><p> </p><p>Not lying.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Llama:</p><p> </p><p>Revoking your best friend card.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pup:</p><p> </p><p>┬──┬ ¯\_(ツ)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Llama:</p><p> </p><p>I hate you. :(</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pup:</p><p> </p><p>;)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lee Minho died because of an accident two years ago. He had this good future ahead of him. He’s a good budding actor and dancer with lots of potential but died when during the rehearsal, a huge light post knocked him down, almost ruining his pretty face, ruining his whole future.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin’s heart ache so much.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minho deserves something better. He deserves so much more.</p><p><a id="page16" name="page16"></a>  </p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What do you think is my purpose for still being here on Earth?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin is not used by this kind of question and coming it from Minho is the biggest shock ever.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe ---- you’re still finding something that you haven’t found when you were alive.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minho only inclines his head and fiddles his hands nervously.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey.” Seungmin says, shaking him. “Tell me.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Do you have time?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin always has time for Minho.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s gotten to a point that Minho is always with Seungmin. Wherever the human is, the ghost is with him. And when Seungmin sees the other shaking inside the bus, he can’t help but run his hand on his knuckles. Good thing they are at the far back of the bus because it feels like Minho needs this badly. Seungmin wants to respect this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minho sighs.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s a cemetery.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lee Minho’s name is in it and Seungmin is not sure how to react when he sees Minho kneeling down in front of his grave. He doesn’t realize that the ghost is crying until a blue forget-me-not comes into a view.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There’s a sudden laughter that comes from Minho and Seungmin is alarmed. Minho looks every bit of lost --- and Seungmin realizes that with Minho, he loses a part of himself (his coherency, solitaire, boredom, and later on he knows he’s going to add, his heart, in this list).</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Just stay.” Minho begs. “Please.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin willingly does and when he looks at his gravestone, his mouth turns to an O shape.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“My birthday. I know.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin cups Minho’s head and thumbs the tears away. With a smile, he greets. “Happy Birthday.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There's something about the silence that means so much to Seungmin.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I understand you, Minho.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That night, Seungmin finds Minho eating and eating his favorite honey glazed chicken plus drinking from a beer can. Seungmin’s heart swells and panics for a moment. Because Minho is so fucking adorable --- so fucking cute and he's making Seungmin's heart runs for miles and miles and miles away.</p><p><a id="page18" name="page18"></a> From the how he laughs --- how he eats the chicken --- the way his eyes sparkle. Everything about him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Minho.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Happy Birthday.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I know.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’re smiling.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minho, despite of being a ghost (pale and sickly) looks like he’s been the most alive with his cheeks red like tomatoes. Seungmin does not know how does it but it’s really a breathtaking sight.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Have you been really avoiding me?” Hyunjin asks in lieu of greeting as soon as he steps in the café he’s working at.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Good thing, there are no customers around.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Why would I avoid my own best friend?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin, frustrated, slams his hands on the counter. “You tell me, Kim Seungmin! Don’t tell me this is about the ---” He winces before continuing. “ghost.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“The ghost has a name, Jin.”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><a id="page19" name="page19"></a>“Why are you being defensive whether he has a name or what---” His best friend stops and shakes his head. “He’s pretty, yes but he’s --- a ghost.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Dude, I know you and ---”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“For fuck’s sake, I don’t! He’s a ghost.” He cries out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There’s a pin drop silence after Seungmin’s cry.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You and I have been best friends since we were in diapers.” Seungmin’s heart makes a loud sound. “I know you and ---” Hyunjin looks at the huge mirror surrounding the café. “---you biting your nails right now means you like him.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t like him that way. He’s a ghost.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Doesn’t stop you from falling in love with him.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin glares at Seungmin-mirror and realizes he’s been biting his nails the whole Hyunjin fiasco.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin tries really hard not to wake Minho up every time he comes home when he sees the latter sleeping on the couch.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tonight, he’s failed because as soon as he closes the door, Minho is sitting with a glare.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’re avoiding me.”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><a id="page20" name="page20"></a>“I’m not?” He answers unsurely. “I’m just taking more shifts at the café.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You can’t even look at my eyes well!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Shut up.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Then, as an adult he’s come to make a decision, he runs inside his bedroom.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>What he forgets is that Minho is a ghost. And as a ghost, he can run and walk through the walls. It feels too unfair because he’s been really avoiding him, at all cost, to stop his beating heart.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Why are you here?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Did you leave out the fact that I’m a ghost or something?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Or something.” Dumbly, he says. “There are times that you don’t even feel like a ghost.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Fuck you!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wouldn’t you like that?” He asks with a glint and when a minute passes by, he remembers what he just asked and covers his head with a pillow.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That pillow is thrown away by Minho. Sadly. “What is that?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Are you stupid?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Am I?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yes!” He shouts stubbornly, putting another pillow again on his face.</p><p>Minho chuckles and Seungmin likes that sound really well. “I hope I’m not stupid enough to read all these signs.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What signs?” He asks, sitting up abruptly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You avoiding me ---you can’t look me in the way. Kim Seungmin, do you --- do you like me?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well, maybe the reason I can’t look at you is because you’re an eyesore?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minho smirks and lightly pats him on his head. He turns him to the mirror and his reflection glares back at him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Someone told me that you’re lying when you bite your nails.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh oh oh fuck you, Hwang Hyunjin.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He certainly is biting his nails down.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You know you’re cute when you’re like this --- flustered and you know, Seungminnie, unlike your lying ass, I’m confident to say that ---”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin kisses Minho to shut him up and realizes that <em>fuck I’m so in love with a ghost</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I like you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minho tastes like strawberries and mint.</p><p><a id="page22" name="page22"></a> “I want to do couple things with you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin chokes on his water when he sees Minho watching his favorite drama where Kim Bokjoo and Jung Joon Hyung are having a date in the amusement park.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He has his arms cross in front of his chest as he burns hole on TV. But then he's aware that Minho must have had missed these kind of things back when he was alive. The fact that he wants to do these with him is just a luck.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>So Seungmin puts down his glass as he waltz in front of Minho. The other looks up as he asks for the latter's hand. Minho, confused, take his own hand and then they are swaying back and forth in the middle of his living room.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It feels really nice when Minho's arms are wrapped around his waist, eyes never leaving his face. It's simple, he knows, this is the only thing he can do with him but it matters. Little things with Minho matters, for him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You know I can't take you out because people would think I'm crazy.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minho chuckles and presses their foreheads together, his chapped lips ghosting above his. “You like a ghost, it considers crazy enough, I guess.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin is crazy. That's okay.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You're what ----” Hyunjin sits on the couch, eyes are not leaving the way both Minho and Seungmin hold each other's hands.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin has the audacity to wave it in front of his best friend with a foolish smile. “I guess, dating?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“A ghost?</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><a id="page23" name="page23"></a>“Is there a problem with that?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Seungmin, you're a big idiot.” Hyunjin says, standing up, dusting his short pants. “But congrats.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin misses the way Hyunjin's voice sounded sad and hopeless because he's holding Minho and Minho is with him. Nothing else matters aside from him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Seungmin wakes up when he feels a light pressure pressing onto his lips. He sees Minho on top of him, peppering him with kisses.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I think I know why I’m still here.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hmm..”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe because when I was alive, I have never experienced getting my love be returned. Only now. Just now. With you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin smiles fondly, pressing down their noses together. “I want you to stay with me. Okay?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minho ponders for a moment. “I want to, as well because with you, I feel like I’m alive. You make me feel like I’m alive.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin is glad and happy.</p><p><a id="page24" name="page24"></a>  </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin jolts awake one night and feels Minho pressing himself deeper on his side. Seungmin circles his arms more to him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Why are you awake?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minho pouts. “It’s just that --- I miss you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’m here.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I know.” He quietly says. “But I’d miss you with every single second without you. Would you miss me too if I was gone?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Minho---”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But Minho is shaking his head, shushing him as fast as he can. “Sleep, my Seungminnie. Everything is going to be better the next day.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin believes him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He shouldn’t, though. He should have never trusted Minho when he said everything’s going to be better the next day. For as soon as he wakes up, he realizes that his apartment is empty.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There are no traces of Minho in the apartment. Nothing is better because there’s nothing but a heart ache.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Minho is gone. Minho is gone. Minho is gone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Would you miss me too if I was gone</em>? Minho’s question echoes inside his mind. Seungmin remembers the face Minho had given him the night before.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Why did I not hold on to you better?</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The worst part about falling in love with a ghost is that there are no traces left. No traces left whether Minho is real and true. There are no traces whether to confirm if Seungmin is only hallucinating or not.</p><p> </p><p>Seungmin thinks he's going to be crazy one day --- thinks he might be crazy, he's fucking crazy because Minho is not real. Minho is not real.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Or so he thought until he sees a doodle of Minho and Seungmin on his cabinet with a heart in between. A rabbit and a puppy drawn as Minho and him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He would have found it adorable if it were another time, another circumstance. But it only leaves nothing but more heart ache --- more pain --- more longing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He knows he should move out --- leave. It’s been months since Minho’s left and everywhere Seungmin looks at, it reminds him of Minho and home. Minho is Seungmin’s home. But every time he thinks of moving out, he thinks that what if.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>What if it’s all been just an illusion and not real? What if Minho is just a figment of my lonely life?</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>What if Minho comes back? What if he comes back and I'm not around anymore?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It might happen, right?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Stupid of him, though, what’s the point of waiting for someone who can never come back anymore? There are some worlds that cannot be moved --- cannot be walked on --- cannot be reached. It's never that easy. It will never be that easy.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>The things that Seungmin ends up regretting is the fact that he's never even said he loves him. That he is going to miss him. That he is his and Minho's alone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’ve never even told you I’m in love with you. But I'm in love with you. So much.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A year after Minho’s disappearance, Seungmin finally moves out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He moves out and finds a whole sheet of paper stuck in between his old books with handwriting that’s very similar with the ones on his cabinet.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I love you, Seungmin, and I wish I could tell you that every single day of my existence. I wish I could have met you, way back in University. I wish I could hold your hands and warm them up when they're cold. I wish I could be with you, run my fingers through your hair and I wish I could kiss you breathless and senseless. I love you, I'm so in love with you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin’s drunk.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>So is Hyunjin.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><a id="page27" name="page27"></a>He can’t bear the thought that he still fucking misses Minho and his smile and his laughter and his annoying and sassy ass and his clingy self and he would not trade any of those for anything in the world.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s just that ----</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It’s so unfair.” Hyunjin sobs, more than drunk than they could have possibly imagined. “So unfair that he knew and you didn’t.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“How come you’ve missed the fact that your best friend is in love with you this whole time, are you really dumb?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin realizes that Minho was right. He’s always been right. Minho is always right.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Why him?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Yeah, why him? I’m stupid, and you’re right, Minho. Now, would you just fucking come back to me?</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Christmas jingles echo every where Seungmin goes and he hates it with every passion of his being. It's just a little too loud and happy for him when all he wants is to wrap himself in his fluffy blankets and pile of pillows.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>But he needs to try to survive.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Changbin taps the little red hat on top of his head as he walks past him and Seungmin all but rolls his eyes in return. He scowls when he hears a ding in the coffee shop he's working at and with the best plastered smile on his face, he greets. “Welcome to Levanter Coffee, how may I help you?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>There's a smiling guy in front of him, eyes as brown as his hair. He is looking at the menu on top of his head and Seungmin, cannot, for the life of him, speak at all.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>He stands frozen in his place as he figures out what's happening. Because he doesn't believe it --- can't believe it --- shouldn't believe it. It's crazy.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>It's crazy. It's insane. It's not real.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>(It is.)</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>There he stands, a few feet, separated by the counter, and a heartbeat away from him.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"Can I have a --" The guy trails to meet his eyes. Feline eyes meeting his and a gentle smile that he's memorized way back before is on his face. “--- an Iced Americano, please?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>With the beat of his heart, the other adds, “Seungmin-<em>ssi</em>?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Kim Seungmin wants to cry, he does and when he looks up once more, there's a handkerchief waving in front of him.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Are you okay, Seungmin-<em>ssi</em>?” The other asks and Kim Seungmin cannot wrap his head on what's happening. It feels unreal but he knows that this time, he won't let anything waste between him and the other guy.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>He wipes his tears and prepares himself to speak. “An iced Americano for Minho-<em>ssi</em>?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The other nods and smiles.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>We have so much time. We have this eternity right in front of us. We'll take it one step at a time.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>